On rare occasions, the Internet is a paradise of humor and not the cesspool of cynicism and trolling it has morphed into over the last couple years. This is true for Twitter in particular, the platform on which the folks over at USA Today committed online suicide, so to speak.
On Wednesday afternoon, the publication posted a brief video on its Twitter account with the aim of “educating” its followers on the technology of an AR-15 rifle. The ball of human garbage who shot up a Baptist church in Sutherland Springs, Texas last Sunday, viciously murdering twenty-six people, used a modified AR-15. Stephen Willeford, the American hero who shot that evil piece of excrement twice, also used an AR-15.
There is a large portion of Americans who are well-educated and trained in handling firearms. There is an even larger portion who have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to guns. Add the employees of USA Today to the latter of those groups. In the video, they unironically display a graphic of an AR-15 attached with a “chainsaw bayonet,” leading the general public to believe this is a common “possible modification.”
Watch the utterly stupid video below:
This is undeniably ludicrous. Not a single sane human being would think attaching a CHAINSAW to the barrel of an AR-15 is a good idea, let alone qualify as responsible use of a firearm. This type of “modification” is also so uncommon, its most believable version appears in the Sci-Fi video game series Gears of War.
Now, this is where the fun part starts. The always delightful, never verbally abusive Netizens of Twitter had a field day trolling USA Today‘s ridiculous AR-15 graphic. It started with Gears of War jokes but quickly accelerated into unrelenting photoshop shaming.
Here are some of the best:
1) Chainsaw Bayonet Inception
2) Top Chainsaw Gun
3) Lightchain Sabersaw
4) Fat Chain and Little Boy-enet
5) The Kardashian
6) The “#FactsFirst”
Below is my personal contribution:
I was later corrected by a naval vessel purist who graciously informed me that the illustration I used is in fact a frigate, not a battleship. Perhaps I should’ve done more research before posting, but I still did more than USA Today.
What can we learn from this debacle? Well, USA Today should take heed of the Twitter’s golden rule: the Internet is forever. It will take a while for them to be taken seriously on 2nd Amendment issues, if they were even taken seriously to begin with.
We should also learn that the general public remains, still, woefully uninformed about the technology of firearms, specifically so-called “assault weapons.” Senator Dianne Feinstein and other Senate Democrats recently introduced a bill that would ban any new sales of these “assault weapons,” which isn’t even a technical term for a rifle. Take a look at this insightful graphic:
Where should the line be drawn? What are the already existing, numerous lines that have been drawn by federal law? Educate yourselves, people! I know I can still learn plenty about the safe use of a firearm, the mechanical specifications of various guns, and the laws regulating their ownership.
It’s difficult to say whether or not this would stymie the frequency of mass shootings in America, but it would undoubtedly elevate the seriousness of the conversation surrounding such evil, deadly acts. Once we do that, we can tackle the bigger issues, the most daunting of which is this country’s descent into complete moral decay.
For now, let’s all join in laughter at the hilarity of chainsaw bayonets.
Cover image taken via screenshot, courtesy of @USATODAY/Twitter